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First story posting "Egyptian Princess" Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is offline   jgandjz 

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Posted 22 April 2006 - 11:11 PM

Hello everyone my girlfriend is trying to get me to write erotic stories but after writing this one she still thinks it's hardcore and not erotic, so I guess I'll have to do more research on erotica but anyway thought I'd post this to see what you guys think. If you like it I'll post more as it develops.


Egyptian Princess
By JgandJz

This story is copyrighted and may not be posted anywhere without my express permission.

Chapter One (First Experiences)

     The girls giggled as they watched the half naked men hauling stones towards the new pyramid. They were beautiful teenage girls with long silky black hair and light brown eyes. Their long smooth legs and slender waists curved into high rounded buttocks. With firm grapefruit-sized breasts, the mere sight of the girls would be enough to give a man an erection. But staring in their direction was forbidden.
     The two girls had grown up with each other, one a servant and one a princess. Life in the Pharaoh’s palace was good, but boring for a young princess. Nyla enjoyed the lavish gold necklaces and jewelry she received from her father the Pharaoh, but that did not prevent her from becoming bored around the palace. Her servant and friend Abda was always there to tell her about the daily events that happened around the city.
     But today, the girls watch as the Pharaoh’s men toil to build his pyramid, the ultimate pyramid which will become his place in the after-life and the one which will be the greatest of all. They stare at the hard sweaty bodies below them. Every once in a while Abda would point out a man whose genitals were sticking out. She was a bad influence on the young princess, but Nyla did not mind. Even a princess had naughty thoughts every once in a while.
     “Look at that one,” Abda pointed almost drooling with desire, “he’s so handsome and his keku is sticking out!”
     The princess laughed, “You are so bad. What would you do if you were alone with him?”
     Abda looked at the princess, “I would let him do anything he’d want with me as long as I could play with his keku.” But in the back of her mind she was not sure what she would do if she was left alone with a man for she had never been with one.
     They both laughed and giggled. They had an idea of what sex was all about from the hieroglyphs on the Pharaoh’s walls. His chamber was filled with images of a man and woman holding each other. Some images portrayed them joined at certain points. Nyla would spend hours in his chamber looking over the images when the Pharaoh was away. Although they were just images, she could imagine what it was like to have a hard man pleasuring and holding her.
     One day while sitting and admiring the images she heard some noises in the hallway. Someone was approaching the chamber. Her first thought was to order them away, but she recognized the familiar voice of the Pharaoh and she panicked. Nyla dashed and hid in a dark corner of the chamber waiting patiently, hoping that he would just stop for a minute and then walk away.
     To her surprise Abda walked in with him. The Pharaoh stood behind her gently tugging on the cloth that covered her body leading her to his bed. The princess watched curiously at the two. The first thought in her mind was that Abda had done something wrong and she was about to get punished.
     “Remove your cloth,” ordered the Pharaoh.
     Without looking at him she slowly let her cloth fall to her ankles.
     “You are a very beautiful girl,” he said, “I’ve had my eye on you for a few years now. And now you are old enough to be with me.”
     The servant nodded her head as he spoke to her.
     The Pharaoh removed his clothing to reveal his nakedness, his manhood a slab of throbbing flesh. The sight of it surprised the servant girl. Her eyes widened when the Pharaoh ordered her to her knees. She knelt and reached out to it and held it for a moment.
     Abda and the princess had always joked about what they would do if they had a man to themselves but this was her first time. She was inexperienced and had no idea a man could be so large. Perhaps it was the closeness that took things out of perspective. The Pharaoh reached behind her head and slowly pushed her face towards his flesh.
     “I’ve had many woman,” he exclaimed, “this must be your first time, so I will take it easy with you. After today you will be my sex slave and you will learn to pleasure me when I need it.”
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#2 User is offline   jgandjz 

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Posted 22 April 2006 - 11:11 PM

     She nodded an approval of his order and licked. Her tongue ran up and down the underside of his throbbing flesh. He guided her and helped her do it right. Her wet tongue drooled over it glisten in the light. She soaked him making him moan with desire, echoing through the chamber. She was inexperienced but that did not matter to him, her every touch was delicious and he enjoyed every passing moment.
     The princess watched in shock as the Pharaoh enjoyed ever bit of Abda’s mouth. She felt hot and uncomfortable but couldn’t look away. Nyla felt an itching desire to reach between her legs, to touch the moistness running down her legs. The pictures on the wall had now become flesh. Her desire multiplied as she watched hidden in the shadows.
     Abda soon found her mouth filled with him. She bobbed her head back and forth taking care not to bite him. She was not very good, but her beauty made her desirable. After a few minutes the Pharaoh pulled away and repositioned himself behind her. She waited patiently as he admired her body.
     “Now you will become a woman,” he proclaimed. He reached over and bent her over the bed. Her legs were spread apart with her buttocks raised up high inviting him to take her. The mere sight of the beauty before him made his throbbing more intense.
     “This will be the one time I go easy,” he smiled and grabbed her waist.
     He slowly pressed against her. Thrusting beyond her opening he entered the girl making her into a woman. Her face contorted in agony as he filled her. She screamed as he pushed further in. It was not long before her blood ran down her legs. Nyla was frightened by the sounds. She watched as her father took friend.
     Abda clenched her teeth and she raised herself higher adjusting to the Pharaoh. The agony soon past as he held her waist tightly against him, he throbbed inside her and enjoyed every minute of it. It was not long before Abda started to moan and she soon found her body responding unexpectedly to the Pharaoh’s advances.
     The princess could not believe what she was seeing. She could feel a tingling heat between her legs and soon found her hand quenching her desire. She touched her virgin flesh. She wanted to be the one in bed being taken from behind. She watched in the darkness as the servant girl climaxed.
     Abda moaned and quivered as the Pharaoh quickened his thrust. Her body shook uncontrollably sending shivers towards the Pharaoh. He smiled and he soon found himself groaning.
     He throbbed deep inside her and let himself burst uncontrollably. She could feel him jerking and squirting inside. Streams of his royalty sprayed her inner walls completely drenching her. She moaned and smiled as the Pharaoh drained into her. The exhausted Pharaoh collapsed over her sweaty body, breathing heavily over her until he slipped out of her.
Nyla eyes were fixed on the wetness between the servant girl’s legs sloppily dripping what looked like creamy white milk. She watched in fascination. What could that be and what could it taste like. She desired to know what it felt like to have a man. She was hot, sweaty and had not climaxed. The fire deep inside her kept on burning. She kept staring at the couple as they lay in bed.
     The Pharaoh leaned over and kissed the servant girl grabbing and squeezing her breasts. She moaned at his touch.
     “You are so beautiful,” he said exhaustedly, “you will come to my bed chamber every night from now on.”
     She nodded at his words and smiled. This was Abda’s first sexual experience and she loved every minute of it. Her body still riveted with desire. She wanted more, but the Pharaoh had fallen asleep. She picked up her clothes and left the chamber.
     The princess returned to her chamber and continued to touch herself. The images and thoughts of the Pharaoh pleasuring her own servant kept her yearning all night. She soon found herself climaxing time and time again. She needed to have a man and she needed one soon.
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#3 User is offline   jgandjz 

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Posted 22 April 2006 - 11:13 PM

ok I hope I didn't miss any paragraphs, sentences or words, let me know if something doesn't make sense here.
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#4 User is offline   piaz 

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Posted 23 April 2006 - 12:22 AM

nice. and yes it was verry good and it made sence. keep it up man ;) :-* :-* :-* :-*




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#5 Guest_mjwm54_*

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Posted 23 April 2006 - 12:43 AM

Wow! Great job! [smiley=thumbsup.gif]

#6 Guest_Zantha_*

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Posted 23 April 2006 - 04:31 AM

Well done! I don't think it's too "hardcore". I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I look forward to further installments! ;)

#7 Guest_Martian Princess_*

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Posted 23 April 2006 - 06:35 AM

The Egyptians were the seeds of the Martian race you know. Great job! ;)

#8 User is offline   _Scribbleskillz_ 

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Posted 23 April 2006 - 06:48 AM

good stuff J.  Never can go wrong with egytians.  The only way i can think to make it more erotic than hardcore would be to stretch it out.  Prolong the verbal foreplay if you will.  It's the only thing i can think of doing.  If you did that, it would force you to put more focus on descriptions and the likes, but i'm not too sure.  To be honest, i never really heard there was much difference between erotica and hardcore.  The story was still great though.

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#9 User is offline   jaded_blue 

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Posted 23 April 2006 - 11:47 AM

Mmmmm very very nice JG...maybe the GF is looking for romance mixed with erotica, because I have to agree with scribby...not much diff between erotica and hardcore. Although I only just learned that, so I could be wrong. As her for sure, maybe she wants more romance in it.

Blueeeeeeeee

PS...Yet again, wonderful job!!
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#10 User is offline   jgandjz 

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Posted 23 April 2006 - 02:56 PM

Thanks for the feedback guys, I'll be doing more research and reading examples of actual erotica and I'll be posting more here.

Thanks scrib for the suggestion, my gf told me something similar. Basically tell more story and less sex LOL.
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#11 User is offline   _Scribbleskillz_ 

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Posted 23 April 2006 - 04:20 PM

no problem, my friend.  And hey, once you find out, be sure to let us know what the difference is.  I know i would at least like to know.  It may come in handy.

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#12 User is offline   jaded_blue 

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Posted 24 April 2006 - 04:19 AM

Quote

no problem, my friend.  And hey, once you find out, be sure to let us know what the difference is.  I know i would at least like to know.  It may come in handy.

Scribs


I second this!

Blueeeee
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#13 Guest_Son of Qui-Gon Jinn_*

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Posted 24 April 2006 - 05:34 AM

Very good story!

#14 Guest_Sienna Cinn_*

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Posted 05 May 2006 - 05:08 AM

Quote

Very good story!

What an undersyatment! ::) When can we expect more of this AMAZING story!? ;)

#15 User is offline   bdtiger 

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Posted 05 May 2006 - 06:46 PM

Yes! Yes!

More! More!
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