[LIB]

well that just sucks big time.

[Ricksa]

[enigmawing]

I wanted to say more about Doc in my initial post, but with it being such a terrible shock I needed some time to sort out my thoughts and feelings.

I realize that many of us have a lot of friends we only see online. Sometimes we know their real names, sometimes we don't. Sometimes we get real close to them, sometimes we only know them in passing. Sometimes we even meet them in person. But they're all a part of our lives in one way or another, there for support, to inspire, and sometimes just for a smile or laugh to help us get through the day. But sometimes, they just . . . disappear. We all take breaks from our favorite online haunts and I think that's understandable, but with the way the online world works it can be hard to know if something serious has happened when someone is gone for months at a time.

Doc was one of those friends for me. He and I talked a lot back in ’06, when I was still living in Wisconsin and was leading a rather miserable experience at home. He was always one of my favorite members to chat with, so upbeat, so full of life and off-kilter humor. Every time I’d utter an overly-girly “tee-hee” he’d respond with his pseudo-masculine “HAW!” Anytime the word “pirate” was typed out to make me “squee” he’d immediately post up the ship and skull smileys to salute. He, as well as many other members of this site, became a big part of my much-needed escape from reality. We rarely talked about real life problems or personal issues, but any time they were brought up he was supportive and knew just how to cheer me up.

I had a lot of fun writing JAB to the Future while I still had it in me, and Doc’s sense of humor was a huge influence on it all; ever since then I can’t help but think of him whenever I watch the actual Back to the Future movie since it was one of our favorite topics of discussion. I was quite flattered when he mentioned that my old KP pics were the reason he started drawing again. He was also the one that suggested that I give Koji a top hat whenever I drew him.

I went through a lot of changes late that year. I broke up with Lock and was left in a really bad situation. Although I started dating Rey, he was several states away from me and I was far from my hometown so I was completely on my own for a while. The members of this site were my lifeline in those lonely months of barely scraping by and trying to get my life back in order, and Doc’s humor and optimism was a big part of that.

I guess I wasn’t talking as much to everyone once I was finally able to move into a much more stable home life, but something that always comforted me was the fact that no matter where I moved to, my online friends would always be along for the ride. But as time passes and we get busier with our own lives, we don't always find the time to talk with our old friends as much as we used to.

So I didn’t think much of it when members like Doc weren’t online as often, but still chatted with him from time to time and enjoyed his company. Back around Halloween I thought I’d throw him a line to see what he was up to. I tried again around Christmas when I didn’t hear from him, and no reply then either. I was a little worried that he hadn’t posted here or signed into dA but figured no big deal, he was probably busy with real life stuff or was taking a break from being online. I'd check back every so often, but still nothing.

This Monday morning I realized that I hadn’t seen him active anywhere for about six months. Worried, I searched deeper than usual and stumbled across the incredibly sad and shocking news of him dying way back in early November. He was only a few years older than me.

I struggled for a moment with whether or not I should break the news to you all, but after talking to a few people I realized that the friends that knew him as Doc Army deserved to know that he had passed on instead of being left to wonder why he’d disappeared. Most of us understand the need to keep our online personas separate from our real names and I wouldn’t want to do anything to compromise his privacy, so that’s why I've left out the details. We are, in effect, sort of a secret society here after all.

It’s sad to know that nearly six months had passed before any of us could even realize he was gone, even sadder still that we were that close to not even knowing at all. The internet is funny like that, it allows you to mysteriously disappear as quickly as you arrived without a trace.

On a side note, it recently happened with another friend of mine, Commander Argus. He was a big part of the KP fan community, writing fanfics and creating art. He and I talked a bit at dA and I even drew a pic for him a while back. And just this morning I find out that he passed away back in early December. Like with Doc, his online friends didn’t find out until this week.

I never even met Doc face-to-face like I have with some of you, yet I’m still struggling to cope with the loss. He definitely touched my life; I’m now left wondering if he ever had any idea on how much I appreciated his friendship.

But once again, as he said himself, life is too short. And being the kind of guy that he was, he wouldn’t want us to be sad for long . . . once I’ve had some time to heal I know I’ll remember my lost friends with a smile. I’m sure you guys will too.

[Nuvia]

Enigmawing, thank you for sharing your thoughts and I feel better after reading your post.

This post has been edited by Nuvia: 17 April 2009 - 08:46 PM

[chewbaca]

wow thats so sad
I liked him he knew movies like none other

[Ricksa]

It was a shock.

Thanks for telling us E. I usually don't think much of disappearances or absences. Some just give it up or lose interest...In this case, it's hard that he's gone but also good that his possibly secret friends can mourn in their own ways.

[hillbilly]

May the Great Doc rest peacefully in the amazing place he has been sent to...much too early. Rest well Doc Army, your duty will be carried on by others.

HB

[OrangeCat]

Too soon.

OC

[fannum]

Life is short, no matter how it seems to drag sometimes.

We live on in people's good thoughts and love. Doc Army should be pleased to have touched so many

[Fester]

Goodbye doc...I really didn't know you, in fact you made a comment to me once that it was sad that I was going so young.
How Ironic.
I hope you had many happy years, and I hope you lived your life to the fullest. You are leaving a lot of people who loved you and your work behind...but I am sure we all hope you are in a better place and maybe...still drawing.

rest in peace.