[JKR666]

Hello this is writing I did for a writing battle which I lost in. I found this in my harddrive and figured I'd share. If you're unfamilar with the show. go to www.weakestlink.com for more info.

Hello and welcome to the Weakest Link. I'm Mr. SmartyPants and here area our contestants.

01. Batgirl- Hi I'm Batgirl. I'm from Gotham City. I work for DC Comics as a fulltime comicheroine. I'm also aquainted with former Batgirl, Oracle, who wishes me well in this game.

02. Hulk- Me Hulk. Me New York.. *ahem* I think my mic is broken. Hi I'm the Hulk and I'm from New York. I work for Marvel Comics as a fulltime comichero. I'm married and will one day have an abundance of little green men in my quaint home.

03. Spiderman- Spider sense says I'm Spiderman from New York. I work part-time as a Superhero. I'm married but I also have a mistress named BlackCat.. oh wait.. I shouldn't have said that out loud.

04. Red Monika-  I'm Red Monika. I'm from Captial City. I work as a BountyHunter in both Cliffhanger Comics and ImageComics. I'm still single and am looking for a nice man to take home with me.

05. Robin- Oh man.. Monika.. *drool* I'm Robin. I'm from Gotham City. I work as a part-time student and comic crimefighter. I study under an old cranky man whom our city needs like a guy on crack.

06. Pikachu- Pika Pika... Pika Pika Pika.. Pika Pika Pokemon Pika..

SmartyPants: Ok lets get on with the show.

Spiderman: Spider sense tingling. Hulk is the weakest link.

Hulk:What the?

SmartyPants: You can't eliminate anyone yet Spiderman.

Spiderman: Spider sense tingling. Hulk is still the weakest link.

Hulk: Ok.. *ahem* HULK SMASH!  SPIDERMAN!

SmartyPants: Can you all wait til we start the show?

Robin: Hey Monika. Let me sign my autograph on your chest. All of Robin's female fans love it.

Monika: I'm sorry, I don't speak with sidekicks.

Robin: *tear runs down his cheek*

SmartyPants: Quiet now. You will all be ask a question within a limited amount of time. For every right answer you make money. You can multiple that money (250 to 500 to1000 etc) until you reach a million dollars. But if you miss a question. You loose ALL your money. You can "bank" money you earn but you start back to 250.  At the end of each round.. you can eliminate a person until there's only 2 of you people. those 2 people will fight for the money that's in the bank. Ready?

[JKR666]

SmartyPants: Let's go. Hulk, what is the capital of California?

Hulk: Gotham?

SmartyPants: Incorrect. It's Sacramento. Spiderman. Which animal faced the slow tortoise in a fabled race where the moral is "slow and steady wins the race?"

Spiderman: Santa?

SmartyPants: Incorrect. It's the Hare. Red Monika. What clown Prince of Crime is Batman's greatest villian?

Red Monika: Batgirl?

SmartyPants: Incorrect. It's the Joker. Robin. What famous hero has a weakness for Krytonite?

Robin: Oh Monika I just wanna touch those..

SmartyPants: Incorrect. It's Superman. Pikachu. What cartoon sailor coined the phrase, "I y'am what I y'am?"

Pikachu: Pika.. CHU?

SmartyPants: Incorrect. It's Popey the Sailorman. Batgirl. What is 43443 times 424  minus 1?

Batgirl: Huh? How am I suppose to get that?

SmartyPants: Incorrect. it's 18,419,831. Ok.. game's over. And you got.. nothing in the game. Time to eliminate someone. Time to eliminate the weakest link.

Batgirl: Wow.. they're all stupid, but I'm gonna with Monika. *to Monika* You think I'm a clown? You freakin bimbo! I hope those balloons of yours pop soon!

Monika: Hey I thought you were a mute!

Batgirl: Only in the comics, dimbat! But at least my BRAIN ain't on mute!

Hulk: I pick Robin. He's a sad little side kick and no one here will miss him.

Robin: *tear comes down his cheek*

Spiderman: Spider sense tingling.. Robin is the weakest link.

Red Monika: I say Pikachu's the weakest link, cause he's so cute and cuddly. And you know that pineapples are always bad for you. I'm sorry what was the question again? Look, shiny lights...

Robin: I say Hulk's the weakest link. He dares thinks Gotham has any relationship to California? I'm insulted.

Pikachu: Pika Pika Chu Chu Pika.

SmartyPants: Ok.. it looks like Robin is the weakest link. Goodbye.

Robin: I hate you all. I hope you all die in some toxic waste dump. Not you Monika.. you know your Robin loves his bouncy bouncies.

SmartyPants: Ok. Onto round 2. We start with the strongest link.. which was.. the Hulk. Ok Hulk, Who is Walt Disney's best-known mascot?

Hulk: The big white castle?

SmartyPants: Incorrect. It's Mickey Mouse. Spiderman. What X-man did Patrick Stewart play in the movie, X Men?

Spiderman: Captain Jean Luke Picard?

SmartyPants: Incorrect. It's Professor X. Red Monika.

Monika: Bank

SmartyPants: I don't have anything to bank..

Monika: Bank

SmartyPants: ....  
                   
SmartyPants: What sci-fi villain said, "Luke, I'm your Father?"

Monika: Batgirl?

Batgirl: Oh I'm gonna kill you...

SmartyPants: Incorrect. It's Darth Vader.

Monika: Bank.

SmartyPants: ....

Spiderman: Spider sense says the answer is Luke SkyWalker.

SmartyPants: It's not your turn! And you're wrong!  Pikachu. What team does Kobe Bryant play for?

Pikachu: Pika.. CHU?

SmartyPants: Incorrect. It's the Los Angeles Lakers. Batgirl. What is the 2545 times 666 divided by 45 minus 1?

Batgirl: Huh? How come I didn't get the Darth Vader question?

SmartyPants: Incorrect. It's 37,665. Ok guys. you all made a total of NADA points. Obviously I can probably pick out the weakest link..

*looks over the contestants*

SmartyPants: Ok maybe not. Just choose the weakest link.

Monika: Bank.

SmartyPants: Just stand there and look pretty.

Monika: Yah, that's where I'm a queenking!

Hulk: She just gets stupidier and stupider...

Batgirl: I pick Red Monika. I can't believe she lasted THIS long!

Spiderman: Spider sense says.. Hulk is the weakest link. Especially on Fridays!

Hulk: Et tu Spiderman?

Pikachu: Pika Pika Batgirl Chu Pika.

Hulk: I pick Batgirl too. She's done nothing but complain.

Monika: I pick Superman. Cause on sunny days, rain can come and fall water. I think it's bad to have a wet shirt unless guys are looking.

Batgirl: Wait! I'm gonna be the weakest link? I'm the smartest one here!

Monika: You didn't get any of your questions right. How can you be smarter than me? Lalala..

Batgirl: I got the psycho math questions! Your last question was the easiest- Oh and the answer was Darth Vader if you didn't know!

Spiderman: Spider sense says you are wrong, BatChick. It was PeeWee Herman.

SmartyPants: Actually Batgirl was right. Hard to believe you got it wrong even after I answered the question, but it's the votes that count. Batgirl, you're the weakest link. Goodbye.

Batgirl: This is an outrage! What does Monika have that I don't?

Hulk: It's just those curves..

Pikachu: Bouncy Bouncy Chu Chu.

Spiderman: Spider sense tingling down under.

Batgirl: You perverted pieces of men-scum! When Superboy hears this he'll whoop you all.

Hulk: If Superboy heard Monika was single he'd dump you faster than a speeding bullet.

Monika: I'm sorry. It's so itchy in this latex outfit. Can anyone help me adjust..

[JKR666]

SmartyPants: Don't touch those buttons guys- those mouseclicker buttons that is. We'll be right back after these messages.

[jaded_blue]

Ouch! To early, laughed to hard. LMMFAO . . . thanks for sharing JKR, this totally cracked me up . . . Pikachu, oh lord. LMMFAO!

Blueeee  ;)

[JKR666]

SmartyPants: Ok. Onto round 3. We start with the strongest link.. which was.. the Hulk again.

Spiderman: Spider sense can't be wrong. PeeWee said "I'm your Daddy."

Hulk: No Spidey, I'm your freakin' Daddy!

SmartyPants: Will you two cut it? Geez. Hulk. What demonic anti-hero was created by Todd McFarlane for ImageComics?

Hulk: Venom?

SmartyPants: Incorrect. It's Spawn. Spiderman. What type of species is Mr. Spock in the show StarTrek?

Spiderman: Elf?

SmartyPants: Incorrect. It's Vulcan. Red Monica, How many bears are in the FairyTale "Goldilocks and the 3 bears?"

Red Monika: Blue?

Hulk: And I thought my wife was pretty dumb..

SmartyPants: Incorrect.  It's 3. Pikachu. What yellow electric-type pokemon rodent hangs with Ash in the show Pokemon?

Pikachu: Yu Gi oH?

SmartyPants: What the? Incorrect. It's Pikachu. Ok guys.. after the last 3 rounds.. it seems you can't even get a single question right. You got no dollars. We'll now double it. Now it's time to eliminate the weakest link!

Hulk: I pick Pikachu. He's not even a real comicbook character. Freaking imports trying to take our jobs!

Pikachu: Pika Pika

Hulk: Speak English!

Red Monika: I pick Pikachu. Cause when Superman said "Luke, I'm your father", Wile E Coyote didn't answer why he was mute. And I think that's wrong.

Spiderman: Spider sense tingling.. Pikachu is the weakest link.

Pikachu: Pika Pika.. Pika Chu.. Pika Pika.. Pika.. Pika Pika.. Pika Pika Chu Pika.

SmartyPants: Um I don't know what you just said Pikachu, but it doesn't matter. Pikachu, I choose you.. to be the weakest link. Goodbye.

*pikachu goes up to Hulk and bites his nose.*

Hulk: Hey! aRGH! My nose!

*pikachu gives Monika his number and leaves*

Hulk: Freaking Rodent! HULK SMASH! PIKACHU!

SmartyPants: Easy green giant. Onto the next round. Hulk, you were the strongest link so you go again. Hulk, What character does the kids forbid in eating the Trix cereal cause "it's for kids."?

Hulk: that Lucky Leprechaun?

SmartyPants: Incorrect. It's the Trix Rabbit. Spiderman. What is the big green hero created by Erik Larsen?

Spiderman: the Hulk?

SmartyPants: Incorrect. It's the Savage Dragon. Red Monika. What animal is Porky Pig?

Red Monika: A Skunk?

SmartyPants: Oh you're gonna someone a happy wife. No it's a pig. Hulk. In the Wizard of Oz, what did the scarecrow want?

Hulk: A woman?

SmartyPants: Incorrect. It's a brain. Spiderman. In Gilligan's Island, who was the big man who bossed gilligan around?

Spiderman: Spidey sense says.. Green Goblin?

SmartPants: No it's the Skipper. Red Monika.

Monika: Bank.

SmartyPants: Which of the 3 stooges had the wild curley hair?

Monika: Skimpy?

SmartyPants: Oh you sure are. No it's Larry. Ok games's over and between the 3 of you.. you made more money than a house slug. Time to pick the weakest link.

Hulk: I'm gonna go with Spiderman. I'd kick off Monika but I think if I play my cards right. I can get lucky in "many" ways tonight.

Spiderman: Spider sense says Hulk is the weakest link. If Spider sense say there is a possiblity to get BlackCat, MaryJane, and Red Monika in the same bed. Spiderman will try.

Red Monika: I say the Hulk is the weakest link. Only cause the USA is in Alaska and I don't think he knows that.

Hulk: USA is where now?

Spiderman: Wait. So the Green Goblin isn't the fat old guy who bossed Gilligan? Was Goblin the rich married guy?

Hulk: No stupid. The Green Goblin was the movie star. The Professor was the rich married guy.

Monika: I thought it was Papa Smurf.

Hulk: No Papa Smurf was the guy who got bitten by a radioactive spider and then built the radio out of the coconut bra the Green Goblin was wearing.

Monika: Oh, I didn't know that.

SmartyPants: You guy can't be THIS stupid. Oh nevermind, well Hulk. Looks like HULK SMASH different gameshow. Cause now.. you're the weakest link. Goodbye.

Hulk: Oh HULK WILL SMASH SPIDERMAN! SPIDERMAN WILL BE SMASH! I'm gonna talk to the writers and it's gonna happen!

SmartyPants: Chilling thoughts of things to come. Alright Monika and Spiderman. Only one of you will be the strongest link.

Spiderman: Spider sense tingling. Hulk is the weakest link.

SmartyPants: He's already eliminated! Since you guys didn't make ANY money. I'll put.. *goes into his pocket*  a dollar and 34 cents into the bank. Ok I'll ask you each 3 questions. If it's a tie (which is a definite possbility) then we go to sudden death. Ok ready?

[jaded_blue]

What a bunch of fucking idiots . . . and I thought I was comic dumb. Oh boy. Great for a laugh, thanks.

Nice bribe addition up there also, JKR, not like it's going to help you. I'll just start offering nude pics of myself and make the good army so great that it will swamp your little bitty existance. heheh

Blueee  ;)

[Darth-BAW]

You don't want to know how hard I had to try not to laugh out loud while reading this.  Awesome work, JKR.  Funnier than the actual show!  ;D

[Mephistoles]

The wifey and I got a big kick outta this!

Meph

[JKR666]

SmartyPants: Monika. What marvel comics  vigilante wears a skull on his shirt?

Monika: Eww. Someone who's not gonna get my number?

SmartyPants: Touche. No it's the Punisher. Spiderman, what hobbit was the ringbearer in the book, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring?

Spiderman: Pippy Longstocking?

SmartyPants: No it's Frodo Baggins. Monika. What character did the Grendal face in mythology?

Monika: Wonder Woman?

SmartyPants: No it was Bewulf. Spiderman, what country does Captain America reside in?

Spiderman: France?

SmartyPants: No it's the USA. Monika, What is 1 + 1?

Monika: I hate math problems. Um.. Someone help me? Nevermind, I can get this.. um.. 1?

SmartyPants: I could swear you must of been a blonde at some point of your life. No it's 2. Spiderman. What is the relatively toxic antibiotic produced by the funguslike bacterium Streptomyces parvallum?

Spiderman:  Actinomycin D?

SmartyPants: Oh my god. You got it right! How the heck did you know that?

Spiderman: Spiderman good at science.  :)

SmartyPants: Well it looks like Spiderman is the strongest link. You win a dollar and thirty four cents. Thankyou for reading this. This is SmartyPants saying.. goodnight.  

Spiderman: So Monica, can Spidey buy you a drink?

Monica: Not with a $1.34 .

Spiderman: How about with a $1.35?

[jaded_blue]

Maybe on game night at some bar or casino he can get her a beer and a hot dog for a buck.  ;)

[jaded_blue]

Quote

Yes indeed I think the cleverness of the author is in inverse proportion to the cleverness of his characters    

LMMFAO!!  ;)

[idic]

;DThanks JKR ;D

idic ;)

[jaded_blue]

I wanna know the site damnit!!  :'(

*looks innocent like that wasn't just a shameless way to bump this thread*

Blueeee  ;)